It Took a Village

With the success of my first blog (many thanks for the love), my husband suggested my second entry share our story of infertility.  While we held our troubles close to home in the beginning, we found that sharing our story gleaned us tremendous support and eventually helped others in their struggle. So, away we go...

In 2004, my husband and I bought our first house after nine months of marriage and decided to begin expanding our family.  After more than a year we sought help from my Ob-Gyn. We learned quickly things were going to be a challenge and after lots of monitoring and little help from the doctor, we sought a specialist in 2005. 

Our adventure began at the office of a respected reproductive endocrinologist who administered a series of tests.  Our new doctor believed that we could get pregnant through IUI (intrauterine insemination). In the months that followed, we completed four IUI's to no avail.  Our hopes of having a child were now pushed into another year and our doctor announced his retirement. Seemed like the perfect time to take a break and reevaluate the process.

We  found an up and coming new doctor and continued our efforts.  After another series of tests and lengthy medical conversations, he diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and advised us that IVF (in vitro fertilization) would be our next step.  The price, literally, for having a child had just gone up.  Not only is IVF very expensive but there is an emotional and physical price as well since embryos are created in a lab and surgery with anesthesia is required. 

After much discussion and soul searching, we moved forward with our first IVF cycle.  While I responded well to medicines and we achieved several growing embryos, I did not get pregnant. 

Months later and after much budgeting, we moved forward with another IVF attempt.  Imagine our excitement when we discovered I was pregnant.  My blood tests indicated a healthy sustainable pregnancy and an ultrasound at six weeks would confirm our dream to become a family.  While the days ticked by my husband and I talked names and searched the Internet for nursery furniture. I was a bundle of nerves the day of our ultrasound as we awaited to see our baby (or babies since IVF often results in multiples).  Our doctor immediately found our little peanut and pointed out all the important features.  Then there was a long pause and the nurse left the room quickly while the doctor informed us that our baby did not have a heartbeat and I would likely miscarry in the coming weeks.  We were devastated to be so close and have the world crash down around us.  We asked lots of questions of our doctor, our faith, and of each other.  At nine weeks we lost a miracle and I found myself in a spiral of sadness.

The recovery process was a long one and eventually we decided to try again.  Our third IVF attempt was unsuccessful and had us looking more closely at other options. We looked into adoption both domestically and abroad but just didn't feel like it was right for us.  In the meantime, our doctor announced he was moving to Texas and setting up a new practice there.  We were at a crossroads in the process and took a much needed break from it all.

My husband and I were committed to becoming parents and felt that this was the right path for us.  So, we met with yet another doctor and completed a frozen embryo transfer using an embryo we created from an earlier cycle.  A positive pregnancy test followed but was met with much more skepticism.  Unfortunately, I miscarried our second child before we even made it to the ultrasound at six weeks.

The process was draining and we opted to take time off and reconnect with each other.  My husband and I took several trips together, I lost forty pounds and vowed to get healthier while our doctor pursued research into our ill-fated fertility history. 

We were eventually encouraged to run a few more obscure tests and discovered that I have an auto-immune issue that might be playing a role in our infertility. Our doctor suggested a new treatment using intralipid IV therapy once a month for two hours each session.  My husband and I attempted our fourth IVF and were skeptically happy to learn that I was pregnant for a third time. The weeks before the ultrasound were grueling as we waited to learn our fate. With my husband by my side holding my hand, our doctor completed the ultrasound and turned up the speaker in the exam room to fill it with the sound of our baby's heartbeat.  It was the single most amazing sound I had ever heard.  We continued with ultrasounds every week until we were eventually released to a regular Ob that continued to monitor our progress.

After fourteen procedures, two miscarriages, and eight long years, I am happy to report that on May 22, 2012 our daughter was born.  She is healthy and happy and her birth made the years of struggling seem so insignificant.  I never thought I would be able to say that!

My husband and I have been very open about the process and consider her our miracle of miracles.  We are reminded however of the heartaches that lead us here as we reach out to others still trying to achieve a family. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is worth waiting for regardless of how you get there.  Reach out to your friends and family because their support and understanding will get you through it. Trust me when I say that our support system celebrated our daughter's birth with as much vigor as we did!